\"But Eloire,\" I screamed into the air. \"You don't even like apple pies, you say they make you fat! \"

The shimmering waves of magic faltered for a moment, then a wave of slothful energy swept over us. \"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME FAT!!! DUNCCAN!!! THEY ARE ABUSING MY SOUL!!! AVENGE ME!!! \"

and the reply...

First of all, Eloire isn't Fat.

QED

Written by my hand on the 17th of Midsummer, in the year 1152.