Those of you online tonight may have been witness to a tragic event - my agonizing death at the hands of one Speckled Butterfly.

For those of you unaware, this Speckled Butterfly is, admittedly, a formidable foe, couching immense rage within the guise of a sweet, graceful innocent.

But, it resorts to cheap tactics, the likes of which we are well aware and enjoy to scorn. It utilized its mighty skill of bash against me, when we all know butterflies should never be allowed to use that skill. It's abuse!

It refused to challenge me, instead began to defend itself when I (in my defence, accidentally) trespassed upon its territory. How dare it?! It should have let me intrude, and made no effort to chase me off!

When time stopped (on my end of the battle), the Speckled Butterfly, unaware of my sudden pause, saw only an advantage and pressed for a decisive victory. The nerve! It should have instead dragged me to the pool of life until my connection resolved itself!

In response to these terrible outrages, I hereby lay down the gauntlet to YOU, Speckled Butterfly. In view of your heinous fighting tactics, I propose we do a triggerless battle on Javalon, and when you lose I tear off your wings. Dare you take up the challenge, or are you too frightened of a fair (highly regulated, antiseptic and bland) fight?!

This Rant brought to you by Narissa, the Butterfly Collecter... I'll look for you in my collection!

P. S. If you dare to reply to this via message, letter, or any form of civilized conversation, I will scorn you as a coward and repeatedly jump you as you go about your seditiously vile business of flitting and fluttering. Take heed!

Written by my hand on the 11th of Paglost, in the year 1127.