I'm not a fighter but I'd like to add one:

- Hemmorhoids

You feel an enormous burning sensation - Down THERE.

Result: You cannot ride your steed. Everytime you try, you fall off and scream like a wailing baby. Also, you constantly lose balance and walk bowl-legged until it is cured.

Written by my hand on the 14th of Skyelong, in the year 1101.