Ok the truth is I have a magical item (The Ring of Sloofouy) It is a ring of \"True Summon\" - basically it allows

me to summon low-lifes (Mercinaens and Springdalians) to my location at will five times a year.

Does that clear things up?

Evil Aerian, Gateway to Hell

Written by my hand on the 30th of Cloudburst, in the year 1072.