I challenge everyone to be more creative than this:

A shadowy figure falls to the ground, some sky-blue underpants stuck in his

chest.

Blondel has been slain by General Giliad Silverhand of Springdale.

Some white magic fends away the rapidly approaching Death from consuming the

soul of Lucky Blondel.

Giliad

Written by my hand on the 27th of Midwinter, in the year 1061.